Your confessions are a self-fulfilling prophecy. Here's why.

Priscilla Barnes

Do you feel like you are constantly messing up? Do you feel like you just can’t get your act together?

Do you feel like the goals you have are unattainable because you can’t get control of what you do daily?

You’re not alone.

We often become frustrated with results prior to realizing what got us there. And then, once we realize what got us there, we can have a very challenging time changing things.

Here is something that I heard Craig Groeschel talk about recently on a leadership podcast.

“You do what you do because of what you think of you.”

Every decision that we make comes back to what we think of ourselves. Every decision.

James March, a professor at Stanford University, created something called the “identity model of decision making.”

When making decisions, we ask ourselves three questions subconsciously:

1. Who am I?

2. What kind of situation is this?

3. What would someone like me do in this situation?

How you view yourself determines how you follow through in any situation.

For example, if you are someone who is a vegetarian and you are out to dinner with your friends, when ordering your meal, you’ll scan over the menu, and choose your food without meat based off of your identity.

But that is a very simple example.

It gets very deep (and true) the more you assess not just who you are, but who you tell yourself you are.

This is why one of the main aspects to Wellness in Bloom’s approach to preventing disease is working on mentality. (And one of the top client reported wins is a shift in mentality.) If you wake up and tell yourself you’re a piece of crap (you may laugh, but most people do something to the equivalent of it), you will, in fact, treat yourself and act like you are worthless.

You will not be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve the goals you lay before you because, well, you believe you’re worthless. And worthless people don’t prioritize their wellness.

Have you ever said or thought any of these?

“I just am not good with finances.” Then you never will be.

“I just struggle with food.” Then you always will.

“I just always struggle.” Then you will never succeed.

“It’s just who I am.” Is it? Or is it what you tell yourself every day subconsciously?

What we tell ourselves becomes what we believe. And we take action based on our beliefs. Period.

Many people I work with struggle with decisions initially. And who wouldn’t?

Decision fatigue is a real thing. Every day we make SO MANY decisions. And at the end of it, it can be hard to continue making decisions in line with our goals.

Research shows, when we experience decision fatigue we have less self control. We are so exhausted making decisions, that it becomes harder to make decisions in line with our goals.

We are human. Our bodies and minds crave the path of least resistance.

And we will default to who we are and what we have told ourselves even more so in situations of exhaustion.

There’s an ocean of opinions on health and wellness out there.

But do you know what happens when you define who you are and who you want to be?

Many of your decisions are made for you.

Maybe you start to decide that you are someone who wants to prevent disease and age well, so you decide to walk every other morning. When tempted to push snooze, you ask yourself who you are? Which identity do you think will get up? The identity who tells you how often you fail? Or the identity who has made a resolve to be healthy?

Most people struggle with decisions not because of a lack of self-control, but because of a lack of self-identity.

Define who you want to be.

Make that voice louder than any other lie that might be trying to derail your success.

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